My stepson’s wife has a situation regarding custody of her children from a previous marriage. Currently, they have joint custody of two sons and the children (8 & 10) live with her and my stepson. They also have joint custody of the daughter 13 but she lives with the father. The daughter has a history of psychiatric problems, and has .

Her ex husband is an extremely manipulative person, who is doing his best behind the scenes to influence the children against their mother and my stepson. He does this by spreading complete lies that my stepson is a bad person (even getting someone to claim to be a police officer telling them that my step son is a wanted criminal) and that she is suicidal. The existing judgment specifically states that each parent should not bad mouth or influence the children or interrogate the children about what happened during visits to the other parent. The children do however volunteer information regarding what he is stating about my stepson. They do not believe his lies (so far). Unfortunately my step son’s parents in law appear to have fallen under the ex husbands spell and are now siding with the ex against their own daughter and are pushing to extend their time and his time with the boys. This is particularly bizarre since we have written statements from the wife’s parents sting how the ex was abusive to their daughter and grandchildren. My stepson & his wife have received no explanation as to this change in heart, but have strong suspicions that the ex husband has influenced the daughter to support his lies regarding my stepson and his wife.

We are trying to figure out a way forward with this. They know there is manipulation going on but can’t prove it since we cannot ask the boys, and don’t want to put them in that situation. We feel he is just slowly trying to get complete control of all the children. They have asked for mediation in the new year to try to get answers as to why the boys mother’s parents have alienated her to side with ex, hopefully to get some evidence of the manipulation. We also considered getting a lawyer to represent the boys directly with this so that the boys can talk about their feelings without influence. Is this possible? Could the ex husband veto this? Any other suggestions?